"I did it my way"

Famous line, famous song; often repeated but little examined. What would it mean if, at the end of my life, I were to say, proud to the point of tears, that I did it "my way"?

Does it mean that I bullied and steamrolled my way over everyone else, ignoring their ways...to always get mine? Does it mean that I never compromised, never negotiated a win-win solution? Does it mean that I never listened to other ideas or to critical thinking about my ideas, or that I never sought input from a higher power?

If you're a parent reading this, you may be thinking, "That's not how I'm teaching (or how I want to be teaching) my child to behave." Or you may be remembering how your family taught you. Was their direct message ever that you should think only of yourself and act only for your own gratification, to always live "your way"?

Some of the final words of this song, "My Way," make

it clear that living "my way" is not being defined in these egotistical terms. I can hear Frank Sinatra's voice ringing in my inner ear:

"For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels."

From these words, I know that doing it "my way" is really about living, not from ego-driven irresponsibility, but from whole-hearted, all-in, fully-connected living, which requires all of the 7 Childhood Treasures, abundant and shimmering in the treasure chest of your spirit. To live in ownership of yourself, to say the things you truly feel, to never make yourself a victim to anyone else, requires all of these Treasures: Trust, Independence, Faith, Negotiation skills, the capacity for Vision, the ability to Compromise, and last but not least, the power of Acceptance.