The Most Generous Act

"Life sucks. That's it. It just sucks."

That's what my beloved friend said to me today. She (and I hope you, dear reader) knows me well enough to know that this is not a statement that describes my point of view. Yet, it clearly and succinctly describes hers -- at least up to now.

I feel so sad, knowing that this belief lies upon her heart today. I imagine how heavy it must be, holding her bright spirit pinned relentlessly beneath its unforgiving weight. My own heart dances every day, footloose in the certainty that life is beautiful, loving, and forever bringing me gifts designed for my greatest good. I want this dancing lightness for my friend, as I want it for all who suffer from this crushing belief that "life sucks."

When your childhood leaves you with an empty treasure chest -- none of the deliciously glittering bounty of the 7 Childhood Treasures mined or polished -- this belief that life sucks is the outcome. Without Trust, I could not believe that life "has my back." Without Independence, I would be unable to separate my real life from the daily circumstances that seem to be my life. Without Faith, I could not hold onto a higher purpose to carry me beyond the rollercoaster of "stuff that happens" every day, to everyone. Without Negotiation, I will not get what I want....

See how this goes? If I seem to be struggling alone, if I seem to BE the ups and downs of the journey rather than the one navigating them, if I see no purpose for my life, if I cannot get what I want.... Those colors on my brush do paint a picture that could be titled, "Life Sucks."

Issue Queen

I have become this...The Issue Queen. Or, at least, AN issue queen.

If you're a regular reader, you may remember that I recently started working with a new healer, whose work opened my eyes wide for a deeper understanding of trigger management (read "Waking from Nightmares"). I did hear this doc say on my first visit that we'd be finding some "issues in my tissues." I thought it was a great phrase, a good brand for his work, but didn't realize the full implications. This healing is calling upon my entire chest of Childhood Treasures!

Turns out that I have signed up for a pretty intense peeling of my personal onion, requiring me to find Trust for this new healer. Some of these issues we're waking up are very familiar, yet I've kept the reality of them at a distance for so long, I stopped seeing them as problems. Yeah, sure, I thought.... I've got issues; no big deal. Yes, I have triggers; no big deal. You know...I manage my reactivity.

Well, HA! and double HA! HA! 
The good doctor's work shouts at me, "MISSY, wake UP!!! You have TRIGGERS like angry bees trapped in a hive and they are taking up WAY too much of your time. GET IT?????" Just clarifying:  the doc is not shouting at me...the impact of his treatment has the megaphone. My awareness of my boundaries, my Treasure of Independence is what keeps me from confusing the doc with his results!

LOUD, this wake up call. In my face, shaking it's fist, spittle flying off its lips onto my cheeks. The issues are coming out of my tissues with big, stomping feet, yelling at the top of their lungs, crashing about in my life. Sheesh. Kinda dramatic.