The Most Generous Act

"Life sucks. That's it. It just sucks."

That's what my beloved friend said to me today. She (and I hope you, dear reader) knows me well enough to know that this is not a statement that describes my point of view. Yet, it clearly and succinctly describes hers -- at least up to now.

I feel so sad, knowing that this belief lies upon her heart today. I imagine how heavy it must be, holding her bright spirit pinned relentlessly beneath its unforgiving weight. My own heart dances every day, footloose in the certainty that life is beautiful, loving, and forever bringing me gifts designed for my greatest good. I want this dancing lightness for my friend, as I want it for all who suffer from this crushing belief that "life sucks."

When your childhood leaves you with an empty treasure chest -- none of the deliciously glittering bounty of the 7 Childhood Treasures mined or polished -- this belief that life sucks is the outcome. Without Trust, I could not believe that life "has my back." Without Independence, I would be unable to separate my real life from the daily circumstances that seem to be my life. Without Faith, I could not hold onto a higher purpose to carry me beyond the rollercoaster of "stuff that happens" every day, to everyone. Without Negotiation, I will not get what I want....

See how this goes? If I seem to be struggling alone, if I seem to BE the ups and downs of the journey rather than the one navigating them, if I see no purpose for my life, if I cannot get what I want.... Those colors on my brush do paint a picture that could be titled, "Life Sucks."

Ahhh...but Life doesn't suck. To extend Merlin's statement from this season of Once Upon a Time, "Life is made of moments, as precious as diamonds [unless you choose to see them as lumps of coal]." If your treasure chest is full, then like calls to like and you see them as diamonds. You see life as a miracle, a blessing, a glorious playground of possibilities. You see that life is designed to heal us, lift us up and make us whole, fill our hearts with joy, and leave us dancing in the pure light of an endless dawn.

Can you imagine a world in which everyone danced around like that, with a treasure chest full of Trust, Independence, Faith, Negotiation, Vision, Compromise, and Acceptance? Just for a moment, can you blink away the illusion that life is designed to hurt you, tear you down or apart, take joy away from you, and leave you gasping with suffering?

If you can lift your eyes from this hideous image of life, even for a moment, then you can change your life. If you can believe, even for a brief second or two, that the suffering is a picture you have painted, then you can begin the work of changing it. Can't believe it? Pretend for a while, then...?

I never was a pessimist, though I did label myself a cynic in the past. I semi-jokingly clipped a meme from Facebook once to label myself an "Apocaloptimist." (I know everything is going to sh*t but I think it will turn out okay in the end.) When I found the courage to lift my eyes off the cynical picture of life I had painted, just for a moment from time to time, that was when I was able to complete the mining of my 7 Childhood Treasures.

Labeling myself an Apocaloptimist was a step on the path from cynic to a Lover of What Is. Now, instead of judging circumstances as an indicator that "everything is going to sh*t," I just see circumstances as, well, circumstances. What is Happening, What Is. Filled with gifts or, at least, benign, rather than intending to create suffering. Now, whatever the moment is, I just love it, accept it without resistance. I maybe say, "Huh, look at that illusion that something is wrong."

And, day by day, less and less is "wrong." What I mean is that fewer and fewer of life's typical circumstances bring even momentary pain.

If you can change your belief -- change your thoughts about life -- you can literally change your life. The less often I convert negative-appearing circumstances into a source of suffering, the fewer "negative" circumstances come my way. Yes, as is true for us all, the rollercoaster of circumstances occasionally hurls me down into a puddle of painful muck. Rather than use this pain as paint for an image of my life as full of suffering, I splash around in the pain(t) for a minute, feel love and gratitude for the opportunity to create something, and then reach my paintbrush into the still, quiet pool of peace within and get back to my artistic expression of Love in the world. Voila! Life no longer sucks. And my moment in the little muck puddle has further expanded the palette from which I create a world that works for everyone.

Sure, there will be pain sometimes. But it will come and go, transitory, just as joy will come and go. The pain will not bring suffering. The pain may pierce my heart like a hot needle but it will run cleanly through, leaving only a tiny hole that closes quickly. Painful circumstances will still occur but, without my cooperation, they cannot become suffering.

However you believe your life on this small blue dot in space came to be -- whether your origin story is religious or scientific -- can you hear the illogic of  the idea that life is designed to hurt you, tear you down or apart, take joy away from you, and leave you gasping with suffering?

If we put that illogical story away, we've only got two choices left. If life wasn't created for the purpose of your suffering, then it is either for your greater good or completely not about you.

In either case, you just became the source of the suffering, my friend. Life is either trying to help you or is simply rolling by in neutral and you're the one shifting it into high-suffering gear. For a minute, that might seem like the very essence of the "life sucks" philosophy. Wait. I am the one who is making myself suffer??? I am the source of my pain?

Well, that sucks, right?

Nope. That truth is the biggest of life's abundant and enormous gifts. It's my favorite! See, I love to be in charge; love when I think I'm in control. I've admitted that, most of the time, I'm not at all in control of anything. However, my own suffering is the one thing over which I have total control. So why would I choose to suffer?

Why do you choose to suffer? What is the purpose of affirming that life is out to get you? Why make "Life sucks" your daily pledge and prayer? Why do that to yourself...and, frankly, to the rest of us?

Oh, yes. Your choice to suffer brings more, and more, and more pain into your life. And like one of those endless-image mirror rooms at a carnival fun house, this multiplying effect brings more pain into the world, not just into your life. Your choice to hold tight to all your pain, to rake it in and clutch it to yourself as your dance partner in life, is a creative act. Pregnant with suffering, you continuously give birth to more pain, a daily phenomenon of multiple births that creates a population explosion of pain.

I invite you to stop thinking that your power lies in bleeding out on someone's desk as an act of revenge. In invite you to step into your real power. End your suffering, yes, but not by ending your life. End your suffering by opening the arteries on the thought that life sucks. End your suffering by refusing to ever again think or speak the words that describe how you will end your life. End your suffering by changing the thoughts that keep you locked in a tango of suffering.

Give that gift to yourself, to me, and to the world. It is the most generous act you can perform.

The website is being upgraded, so is currently out of date, with apologies. Please keep checking Dr. Scott's calendar of events for details on a weekend intensive in St. Louis being planned for this fall. You won't want to miss Live a Sovereign Life with the 7 Childhood Treasures. Dr. Scott expects her book of the same title to be published in 2017.