The Greater Good

A central plank in my spiritual philosophy platform is that everything is always unfolding for my greater good. I recognize that this must be so, because the Divine Being of my understanding operates solely as a positive Creator. For me, God is an evolver of potential that always offers me—and everyone—the next step to achieve a life that is positive and creative. As the omnipresent, omnipotent, and omniscient creative power in the universe, how could it be anything else?

This morning I realized that this core belief is strengthening my Childhood Treasure of Trust. As the very first of the 7 Childhood Treasures, Trust is designed to be unearthed from our internal mine of potential before we are one year of age. Before we can talk, or walk, or understand more than a few words of our native tongue, we begin to acquire the asset of Trust…or we don’t. If we didn’t, then it behooves us to give our adult-selves a second chance to dig for, extract, and polish this gem of human understanding so crucial to healthy relationships.

The connection between belief in a supportive, positive, Universal Power that is always moving me toward my greater good, and the Treasure of Trust…well, it is so obvious, I’m surprised for a moment that I haven’t seen it until now. The infant’s first Treasure is mined and polished in a world in which her basic needs are met. Period. It’s that simple. When he expresses his hunger and nourishment arrives, this little baby miner’s pickaxe strikes the seam of Trust. Physical discomfort is met with comfort—maybe the easing of distress from a dirty diaper or a pokey-sharp label inside the neck of a sleep sack—and Trust is chipped away from the base rock. Her eye contact and gurgling coo is followed by responsive, playful interaction from a caregiver and the raw ore of Trust begins to show its facets. When he is over-stimulated and tired, he is allowed to rest in quiet and peace, and the gem of Trust begins to sparkle.

When infants’ needs lead to relief or fulfillment of those needs consistently enough, the capacity for Trust is established. In a world driven by adults’ needs, in a world in which adults cannot spare enough attention to interpret their infants’ non-verbal messages of need, the raw ore of what could become Trust remains buried, or only partially excavated. Then, this innate raw material is never transformed into the Childhood Treasure of Trust within that first year of life…and the child grows into an adult incapable of trusting in healthy ways.

Of course, your 1-month-old self didn’t have the tenure in life to see that delay of gratification—or complete denial, even—can be forms of good. Every time your baby-self felt a need—any need—a lack of response from your tiny universe of caregivers was as a betrayal. Every unmet need was a sign that others could not be trusted to be there for you. Pile up enough of those signs and a child grows up knowing that nobody has her back. The driver of a car I saw today had codified this life into a personalized plate:  TST NO1 (trust no one).

As adults, we can understand differently than our infant-selves did. First, we know that our needs are no longer simple; they can be as complex and abstract as “validation” and “support” and “loyalty.” We also know that the path to a happy ending, the road to relief of our needs, the unfolding of what, eventually, is revealed as a greater good…. Well, frankly, this path to good can be strewn with what appear to be negative events.

Let’s say, for example, that your partner doesn’t meet your need for intimacy as you define it. Then your partner leaves you for another and you are hurt and angry; your economic circumstances change; your life is turned upside down. In this place of disequilibrium, you take bold risks you wouldn’t have taken from within the complacency of your relationship. You meet someone new who turns out to be a true soul mate; someone who completely meets your needs for intimacy. Your need has been met…at the other end of what appeared, for a while, to be disaster.

Understanding of this “bigger picture,” which maybe comes only with decades of experience, allows me to see that my life always walks toward me holding my good in her outstretched palms. Sometimes she is many miles down the road; sometimes she is just around a bend in the path, very close but out of sight. I must often walk, swim, climb, crawl, leap, and slog over, around, and through circumstances that give the appearance of “not-good,” before I can reach the good that I know is there. For a while, sometimes, I must move forward on Trust, alone. A nice outcome of this belief, thanks to the physics of energy in the universe, is that believing it actually makes it so. But perhaps that's a different blog post....

So what if you don’t believe that life is walking toward you, offering your greater good from open hands? Your heart is broken and you just can’t find your faith? Does it work, at all, to “pretend” that you do believe it?

As it turns out, yes! “Acting As If” is a perfectly legitimate form of prayer, act of magic, or manipulation of energy…call it whatever you like. Affirming that I KNOW my greater good is always unfolding is an act of Trust; the exercise, alone, strengthens my muscle of Trust. I step up to each apparent “not-good,” open to the moment:  seeking lessons from the experience that will help me become more self-aware, more loving, more kind…more of who I strive to be. I learn from each “negative” circumstance, finding the “good” hiding there, while also keeping my eyes on the horizon, expectant and alert. The next person who walks through the door could be the messenger from the Divine, offering the doorway to my greatest good.

Engaging in the intentional practice of Trusting-As-If ensures that I don’t miss my greater good when it arrives.

When my eyes are down on my own shoes and my thoughts are of my own alone-ness, of my suffering in life’s circumstances, then my good can simply pass me by, an unnoticed breeze across my cheek. Life moves on down the road, carrying with her my good—that ultimate relief of a big, complex adult need. Or maybe it just evaporates in her palms as I fail to notice it. And I slog on, thinking life has failed me, instead of the other way ‘round. In this pattern, I affirm that I can’t Trust others; nobody has my back. I am alone.

Make it a mantra, call it daily affirmations, frame it is affirmative prayer, call it rewiring your brain…choose whatever frame works for your belief system. However you understand it, reality is that, if you start Acting As If you believe that life is always unfolding for your greater good, then you will be better able to see that it does! When you Act As If you have Trust that your needs will be met—in fact, already ARE met—then you will see it happen every time it does! And every time you see the relief of your need, your Trust grows. You know that “suffering” is just a journey, and you know you are not alone on that road.

For those in the area, I'll be offering a series of workshops on the 7 Childhood Treasures at the Center for Spiritual Living-St. Louis starting in February 2016. After an introductory overview session, we'll focus on the Treasures of Trust and Independence in the second workshop. Watch my website calendar for more information as it becomes available.