Oh, grow up!

Have you ever sat in a meeting of professional colleagues--people in leadership positions in your work world--confronted with what appear to be a roomful of misbehaving toddlers?

Maybe this occurrence is less regular in the corporate world but, in the nonprofit and government worlds in which I work, this image captures a frequent occurrence. I often see supposed adults act like children. In fact, I recently witnessed some of the best evidence I've ever seen that, just because the human body "grows up," doesn't mean the emotional or psychological bodies keep pace.

How do we behave when the 7 Childhood Treasures have not all been mined, polished and gathered in the treasure chest of our adult relationship assets? Here are a few samples I observed in some recent meetings:

• Eye rolling to express disagreement (not that cute in a 14-year-old, let alone at 40-something!)
• Snickering, pulling a face (e.g.,"Drop-jaw" astonishment mimed to signal well, that was stupid!), and even passing notes to mock a speaker
•  "Poking the bear" -- in adults this manifests most often in questions posed for the clear purpose of aggravating the speaker or eliciting responses that can be mocked

I will give these colleagues some credit for the fact that the persons they were reacting to were, in all cases, on the phone rather than in the room, so that person, at least, could not see all these reactions. Yet, the rest of us could. And I've seen subtler displays of these same reactions to a speaker who was present in the room. I always have to wonder...if you'll do that to this person, will you do it to me? Have you done it to me in the past?

In my heart of hearts, I know the answer must be yes. If this is the standard way your internal emotions pass into the external world...well, first, let's play poker! Seriously, if this is your standard MO, then I can rest assured that I am not exempt from it! If you witness someone regularly engaged in this kind of childish acting-out toward others, you can bet that you're not exempt from it when you're the one who's on the phone.